Blog Hiatus & How My Mom Is Changing My Life

My mom’s senior high school picture ♥

My blog has been on hiatus for over a week and will probably continue to stay that way for a while because: I am currently going through the most terrifying time of my life. On March 4th, my mom and I made plans to go out to dinner and then go shopping afterwards. It seemed extra special to me because ever since I moved in with my boyfriend, I hadn’t really gotten to see my mom as much as I’d like. So, we went out to dinner and after we left the restaurant and got into the car, my mom started breathing heavy and strangely. She then said to me, “I can’t breathe. Take me to the hospital! I can’t breathe!” The hospital was only about five minutes away, but about halfway there, my mom went unconscious. When I got there, a bunch of hospital workers pulled her out of the car & onto a stretcher and took her away.

The doctors still aren’t sure what exactly happened, but their guess is that, somehow, food got into her lungs and stopped her breathing. Then, somewhere along the way, she ended up having a heart attack. My mom’s heart stopped multiple times and one time for over ten minutes. She is currently in the ICU of the hospital. Brain scans were done on her and I’m told that the only brain activity that’s occurring is seizure activity. So now, my family and I have to decide if we want to let her live or let her go. There is little to no hope of recovery.

To make things even worse and stressful, it is now up to me to take care of all of the finances. My father is still alive, but he is 73 years old and really can’t do a whole lot for himself. My mom took care of him and she took care of all the bills. Now it’s all my responsibility. Oh, and.. it just keeps getting worse. Unfortunately, my mom wasn’t very good with her money. I’ve looked over all the bills, that I know of, that I need to pay, and every single one is past due by at least a month, if not more.

So, honestly, I’m feeling more stressed, helpless, and desperate than I’ve ever felt in my life. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Any other problem that I’ve ever had in the past just seems pitifully ridiculous now. Every stress, fear, and insecurity I’ve ever had in my life was a waste of time. I know this now. Even though I’m extremely depressed and scared for the most part now, I actually feel stronger than ever. My mom is teaching me how to be strong. She made me realise that I can’t waste my life. I have to work harder than ever now to make my dreams come true. Everything I do from now on, I’m doing it for her. One of the last times I spoke to her, she told me that she wants me to be happy and successful and live a better life than she ever had. I’m more determined than ever now.

My mom & me with Jason Mewes. Haha.

I absolutely hate asking for help. I’ve always had a really hard time accepting favours from people. But now, I’m feeling so hopeless. I really need any help that I can get. So, if you would like to donate anything, my paypal address is jolenecasko@gmail.com or you can click the donate button below. Also, if you’d like to purchase anything from my etsy shop, that would help too. Even if you can’t donate anything, that’s fine! I am also greatly in need of prayers and positive energy.

Please note, all donations that I receive will be going towards the following things: medical expenses for my mom (or funeral arrangements if it comes to that), my father’s bills (electric, water, mortgage, et cetera), and any possible necessities for both my mom and dad.

I thank you all in advance for your help, donations, positive energy, and prayers. I will never forget this. If any of you ever need my help in the future, I will be sure to do anything and everything I can for you.